“I’m going to escalate your representative” — Qwest Customer Service Agent

I’ve been having an ongoing problem with Qwest Communications overcharging me for my internet connection (when I say ongoing I mean not only for months but after repeated, documented calls about the issue.) Because of this, and as a customer service/satisfaction action, I was promised six months free internet service.

Well, I was not surprised that I continued to be billed even after being promised this compensation for my time and aggravation. Nor was I surprised that I continued to be charged a higher amount than I should have been charged if I were even supposed to be paying for the service. No, my expectations have suffered shrinkage when it comes to Qwest. Think of my expectations as a manly appendage and Qwest as a cold dip in the sea.

But here is what surprised me

After an excruciatingly long wait to get through to Customer Service (during which I worried about the probably lethal doses of cell phone radiation I was being exposed to), I explained to the most recent customer service agent the particulars of my situation including the date of the last CSC (customer service conversation) and the ID number of the representative I spoke to — I just wanted her to have as many facts and as much pertinent information about me and my situation as I could provide.

She apologized profusely and then told me that she could see that yes, I had been offered that “special” but it had since expired (huh?) and that instead of the six months free I would be offered the equivalent amount of money as a credit on my account. And then, to let me know that every possible action was being taken to rectify the ongoing and irritating situation she said,

“I’m going to escalate your representative.”

I said, “Excuse me, what? I think I have a bad connection. Can you repeat what you said?”
She repeated confidently and comfortingly, “I’m going to escalate your representative.”
I was tired of talking to her but I really had to know, “Did you just say that you are going to escalate my representative?”
“Yes” was her authoritative reply.
“Excuse me,” I had to ask (wondering how she was going to increase, enlarge or intensify the poor guy) “but what do you mean by saying that you are going to “escalate” him?
“I will escalate him.” was her staunch, if unenlightening, reply.
She ended with, “My manager will contact you personally about this.” (As opposed, I suppose, to contacting me impersonally.)

That was over a week ago and I haven’t heard anything back yet.

Can you blame me for being a little concerned at the unproductive lengths Qwest is going to in promising to bring all of its customer-service-mightiness to bear in “escalating” a representative of theirs while failing to rectify the original problem?

I thought not.